…including in Malaysia!
I was due for one of these satirical posts… So enjoy!
Fair warning, this one in particular is more honest than it is comical.
Here are 5 reasons I’d never be a popular beauty YouTuber.
5. I’ll never have a posting schedule
Look it up, on my channel;
1st video; 3rd Sept 2015
2nd video; 14th Sept 2015
3rd video; 27th April 2016
4th video; 19th July 2016
5th video; 4th May 2017
6th video; 21st June 2017
7th video; 10th August 2017
I am the epitome of a bad YouTuber.
4. I will NEVER film makeup “TUTORIALS”
Think of any conceivable makeup look and I assure you, there’s already a tutorial for it on YouTube.
If there isn’t then you have gone way out of the box and perhaps you should film it and upload it yourself? Even if you did, how many views do you think something that out of the box would get?
The video of my Indian dance makeup does NOT claim to be a tutorial.
Here’s the bottom line, I believe, another makeup tutorial is NOT what YouTube needs.
Then again, people always seem to relentlessly request it. WHY???? Does anyone actually end up wearing those looks regularly??? Who has that kind of time????
There are over 250 THOUSAND results on YouTube for makeup tutorials posted just THIS MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????!!!!!!!!!!!!
*ok calm down Harivain, you’re not roasting anyone here*
Oh well, I guess I’d never be popular because I am dissing these “tutorials”.
3. I will never act goofy or make self depreciating jokes because it makes me seem “relatable”
I will never put myself in a video and make mistakes that I intentionally leave in or act silly just to seem relatable.
If I am teaching you something on YouTube or reviewing a product, you need visuals with a little bit of instructions. EVERYTHING else is filler. If I want to be goofy and/or stupid I’d just start a comedy or a dramedy (portmanteau of drama and comedy) channel.
The self depreciating jokes is another thing I don’t get. Most of these beauty YouTubers seem to tell their audience to, be strong, believe in yourself, you do you and then they turn around and make themselves seem dumb. And people think that’s funny? I’m sorry, unless it’s intentionally comedic, I see no place for it in my videos! When I say a video of mine is basic AF, it is basic AF. Fact, not humour.
Sorry guys, I guess I am not YouTube “material”.
2. I’ll RARELY talk on camera
I did want to film review videos and post them on YouTube but you’d never hear me speak to the camera. My reviews would not be more than 3 minutes long. It will be a lot like the reviews on my blog. A short description and then right on to the pros and cons.
I’d stick to good old voice overs.
Somehow, people are interested in beauty YouTuber reviews where the actual review is perhaps 2 minutes long and the rest of the video is just them applying makeup and going about their day. Honestly, I am ANNOYED!
On that note, I hate GRWM videos.
*ok, again, calm down Harivain, you’re not roasting anyone here, so calm the eff down*
I guess that would make me less than desirable for YouTube???? Too bad…
1. I am a guy
Yes, in this day and age, it is Neanderthal to think that men cannot or should not do or wear makeup. I CONCUR!
Here’s my gripe with it. THERE ARE TOO MANY OF US NOW ON YOUTUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Patrick Starrr, Manny Mua, James Charles, makeupbymichaelfinch, Mac_Daddyy and the list effing goes ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other problem with it is a situation unique to me. This is real; I don’t think I’d be able to get away with doing what Patrick Star or Manny does on YouTube here in Malaysia. It’s not that it is sad, it is just the best way to get labeled like *finger snap sound effect* that.
Somehow, the society I live in seem to be perplexed by the label “male beauty blogger”. The next label would be sexuality and the next would be gender identity, none of which is relevant to makeup nor is it to me! Doing what these male beauty gurus do would inevitably get me dumped into a category. That would be tragic wouldn’t it, considering I’ve roasted these “people” on my blog before!
Besides, if I don’t have makeup on, I look like the most typical, nondescript guy you may ever see. Which is also perhaps the reason why I get stared at while perusing the makeup aisles at drugstores and Sephora. I get so annoyed that, these days, if I don’t have makeup and an “acceptable” outfit on, I don’t walk into Sephora. The stares and being followed around by beauty assistants are just not worth it. Doing NO BUY 2017 has helped me at least stay away from Sephora.
And of course I can do what they all (male beauty gurus) do! Me and at least a couple thousand men out there….
For me, this is EASY!!!!!! Nothing groundbreaking. Nothing to ride home about.
Well, hope you guys enjoyed this.
Thanks for reading!
Lots of love,
All that being said, SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON YOUTUBE!
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these GIFs. They were either taken from https://giphy.com/ or generated with it. The first one was created using the video from the YouTube channel, Clevver Style and on a show called Beauty Break. I love those women on the show!
Link to the video; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9k1sQDoIIw